having had lots of experience myself and hearing others (I used to run a mother-child group), I can say that the following things help:

plenty of outdoor play, no matter wht the weather, early dinner, no sweets or cookies, sweet drinks, vitamin C etc, regular routine (i.e. bath, music toy, dim lights singing/story etc, and then a firm good night, leave the room and stick with it.

no milk after dinner. I mean, if you had the choice to stay up late, hang out with your favorit people and suckle on a bit of comfort food, - or go to bed and just sleep..- which would you chose?

you have to lay down the law when it comes to the routine. As a parent you have to, I mean HAVE to establish self nourishing times, typically in the evening, otherwise you just get frazzled in the end. (you are starting to feel it..)
If they have always been cuddled to sleep, the transition is hard,- and I would make it gradual, i.e. establish that she needs to lie in her own bed, but you sit and read a book nearby (your own book, for You I mean),- and then after that works quite well (and dont even think about trying to justify what you are doing.. she is too young to understand,- and she will just get into the routine to "argue" with you.. (i.e. screaming fit etc). Just be firm, not angry, not molly-coddling her..
Let her feel that you trust in your decision,- and then she will have a much easier time to accept.

People with many kids just kiss the baby good night in their own bed and leave the darkened room, and the kids have no roblem with it.. Its the parents usually, who have a problem starting with that., and if left for too long,- the kids sense the uncertainty when introducing the new regime.

Having said all that, I have a daughter who has a mild form of autism, called Aspergers Syndrome- and she has Always had real trouble getting to sleep. So at about the age yours is now, I decided to give up, sat with her in the darkened room for a while and then said good night,- I left the room, she was quite content, just couldnt get to sleep. At age 6 she would stay up til 4 or 5, if she had found a fresh set of books to keep her company..
In the mornings she managed to get up reasonably ok,- though not brilliant.
I cannot recommend you let your child just stay up until whenever.. - but that was how it had to be for her.. given her unique little brain. So as always, there are exceptions to the rule.

Hope this helps a little.

I struggled with this as well. I know how fustrating it can be. My son didn't start a solid schedule till he was about 3. It's really true, you have to decided to do it. The thing is I had to make it fun for him. Positive reinforcement has always worked for me. We made a chart that every day he got to tear off a day and when he got to the goal he got a special prize. When I tell you I was pulling out my hair for years with him and sleeping I'm not kidding. Literally the day we made the chart he has slept in his own bed when we put him down and we have never looked back.

I'm just so frustrated. It's 9:30 and I just spent all the time trying to get her to bed, and she's still up. I'm exhausted. She gets up at 7 in the morning and takes an hour to two hour nap. Usually more around an hour. I do have a routine with her. She eats well. She's probably getting more teeth but I gave her motrin. She's also getting up a lot constantly, so that when I'm just about to fall back asleep she wakes up again. It's hard for me to go back to sleep because i"m so on edge. I can't let her cry because she throws up, or poops, or both. I'm just getting angry with the whole situation of trying so hard to get her to bed and her fighting me, and then not sleeping, or waking up all night. It's just not healthy. I want her to self-soothe more, and I don't know how to get to that point without letting her cry. I try lying down with her (she sleeps in our room), but she doesn't want to go to bed, she cries, or plays. SHe's seemed really cracked out at night lately, so maybe she is overtired. I don't know. I just needed a good bitch. I'm so done with this.

Warm baths and massage work wonders. It doesn't have to be a full on bath with washing up with soap, but just sitting in a bit of warm water. My daughter has severe eczema, so we have to rub her nightly anyway, but the massage coupled with the sleepy feeling she gets from the bath gets her ready to go to bed. Usually she will fall asleep before we put her pjs on! That can be a hard routine to do on a daily basis, but that works for us a couple times a week.

I have found that for my 2 year-old, it's best not to read in the bed. If we read in the bed then she wants to get more stories and read them to herself and then she gets out of the bed. Instaed, we read books in the living room before going to her bed. We brush teeth and then she goes to the bed and I always give positive reinforcement about what a big girl she is and how proud I am when she goes to the bed by herself. For us, beds are best for sleeping and nothing us... not playing, reading, etc. So, once she is in the bed she knows what time it is.

Fancy PJs also helped. By fancy I mean the kind she picked out for herself and gets to wear because she's a big girl who can sleep in her own bed. We also have a nightlight for her which seems to help. Whatever routine you decide to use, just stick with it!